Struggling To Find Your Ideal Reader? Try This
You’ve heard it before:
“Talk to one person.”
It’s one of the many golden rules in the world of writing. My version of it is,
“A book for everyone is a book for no one.”
Yet finding that ideal person is like finding a needle in a haystack. Ironically, it’s harder to find one reader than to find a thousand and so we take a cheeky shortcut and end up writing for the masses, hoping that the elusive one will be there.
When we write for everyone, even the crickets take a rain check.
Experts recommend creating a persona, an avatar to have a targeted audience.
This can work because it gives you a clear focus:
The woman in her 30s who is struggling in her dating life.
The senior executive who is unfilled in the corporate ladder and wants a change.
The person who has tried every single diet on Earth and is unable to shred the pounds off.
Mission accomplished. There is your avatar.
The problem is talking to that person is not enough. You need to connect at an emotional level and give them a reason to listen.
Why you?
Writing is about empathy and making people feel and relate. It’s about emotional resonance. There must be a trigger, whether positive or negative.
For months I struggled to find my “persona.” It felt artificial and manipulated.
How am I going to talk to someone who doesn’t exist?
It felt off so I kept writing to everyone - and the crickets stayed at home.
Then, I had a lightbulb moment. I suddenly realized who my ideal reader was. The answer was so obvious: it was the person I was two years ago.
As a writer, your most valuable skill is not your technical knowledge or your intelligence. In our digital-first world, humans and bots can steal that any day. That’s why it’s called AI: artificial intelligence. What you know can be copied, replicated and elevated. Bots are programmed to steal human IQ. They can solve any problem 10 times faster and come up with 10 different solutions.
Your competitive advantage is not what you know but how you know it: your personal, unique, and non-fungible journey.
No bot can steal our emotional intelligence, our human EQ. And that’s what your life experience gives you, whether it’s losing a loved one and learning about healing, overcoming bankruptcy, running your first marathon or becoming a solopreneur.
Your biggest asset is the uniquely human empathy that allows you to connect with the stranger who went through that same experience and show them the light.
“I feel you.”
When I write, I think of the person I was 2 years ago: the woman who was starting something new without clear direction, who was afraid to be criticized by her former colleagues for showing up on social media. I remember the feeling of sending my first newsletter and waking up in the morning without a single notification. I know what it’s like to have one hundred ideas cross your mind and yet be unable to explain what your vision is.
I know what it is to feel that you are late in the game. Like a decade late and having to play catch up.
I feel both like an Olympian and an imposter.
I feel you.
If you don’t know who to talk to, talk to yourself.
Go back to the person you were one year ago, two years ago, perhaps 10, and travel back to create the bridge.
How were you feeling?
What gave you comfort?
What dreams did you have?
What were your biggest challenges?
What helped you move to a better place?
Your ideal reader is right there. You just need to take a good look in the mirror.
Vey insightful. The idea of reaching out to connect from where you've been, and showing empathy through shared experiences, is such an effective way to connect with others.
Just yesterday, I had a similar experience at my swimming lessons. I met a woman who had started at the same time as I did but was still struggling with the fear of gliding. After my class, I spent over 30 minutes talking to her, helping her release some of her self-doubts by letting her know I had been there and faced the same fears she did. She was finally able to get into the water and face her fears, even if it was for a brief moment. The distance she covered was small, but the victory felt enormous. I was literally dancing inside of me.
She was able to do something that the Instructor had been struggling with for weeks. What was the magic? My own experience became the push she needed.
There is enormous power in sharing what we’ve gone through to help someone else take that next step.
Similarly, speaking to the person you once were truly opens doors for others.
'Your ideal reader is right there. You just need to take a good look in the mirror.'
Wow! A seismic shake that feels like things/understandings are slotting into place.
Thank you Veronica. 😊🙏🏼